I cried on my birthday. The hard core ugly cry. Now before you feel sorry for me and apologize for my bad day, hear me out.
Ninety-eight percent of the time, I consider myself a strong person. I can tackle most obstacles and not be weighed down by the significance or non significance of each. Then there are days when my breaking point is the 5 year old that lays on the floor and cries because we're out of ice cream. That triggered the small break of tears.
Later when I was laying out the day to my husband, the weight of all the things that I have absolutely no control won. I took the 7 minutes of alone time and cried HARD, SNOTTY, WET, UGLY tears. The kind of tears that I rarely in my life experience.
Today the weight of the things out of my control was heavy. People I love are fighting poor health, the consequences of poor decisions, and other issues. I can't control these. I don't know how to make them better. And I wasn't equipped today to emotionally deal with the unimportant tragedy of an empty ice cream container. So I cried.
Tonight regardless of how aware I try to be about not truly being in control, I felt overwhelmed and helpless. Here's the thing, it's ok to cry. It's ok to not always be strong. It's ok to every once in a while to cry it out. You can't always be strong or you'll break. Even concrete develops cracks from the weight it carries. Every now and then, it's ok to crack.
Today is my birthday. I wouldn't call it my best by far. I cried on my birthday, but it was a cleansing reminder that sometimes you gotta give yourself a chance to breathe and let it go.
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