Four Girls....

Those that know me know that I have a hard time keeping my thoughts to myself. I've been known to spout off not really caring what the repercussions were. There's one thing that I've done fairly well of biting my tongue on though, but I've reached my limit. I'm done shrugging it off and making jokes like it doesn't bother me because it does.

"Four girls?" "Yep four." "Wow, your poor husband." "Yep, he's pretty blessed" or "it's character building" is generally my response. But why? Why my poor husband? Why is it that having four girls or more than one girl in general is bad? When did having a girl for a child suddenly become a consolation prize?  Is her life not as valuable simply because she's a girl? When did having a healthy child become only exciting if it were a boy?

You see, when we chose to have children, we didn't have them hoping for a specific sex. I think if you're having children in hopes of having a particular sex, you're having children for the wrong reason. When we decided to have children, we hoped and prayed that we would simply have healthy happy children. Thank God we did.  Four of them to be exact. Four beautiful, healthy baby GIRLS.

See as a mother when I hear you say "your poor husband" I hear you say my child isn't valuable. I hear you say that she isn't good enough. I hear that simply because God made her a girl by His design, she has somehow already failed in your eyes. Your seemly simple comment sends a much deeper message to me and my girls. You devalue them every time that you say that and they pick up on it.

I believe that what children hear is what they will believe. We tell our girls how smart they are. How funny, kind, beautiful, etc. they are. We never say you'd be funnier if you were a boy. We don't change the beliefs that we instill in them because they are girls. We let them know that they can accomplish anything they set their minds to if they work hard at it. Who are you to undermine that?

You're seemingly harmless comment that I've let slide by for quite some time isn't just hurtful to me, but to my entire family, including my husband. What you're saying to him is that he shouldn't be proud of his daughters, that if he would have had sons, that it would have been more praiseworthy. You're suggesting to both of us that we have somehow failed because we have girls. Somehow in that one comment, you not only manage to devalue my girls and the female sex in general, but you also manage to emasculate him as well.

I'm sure you would never ask a parent that's lost a child if the loss was somehow easier because the child was a girl. You'd never dream of saying something like that to a grieving parent, so why on earth would you think it's ok to degrade a living child to their parent? Plain and simple, it's not. Every life has value and the loss of that life is no easier to bear simply because of the gender that was lost.

So yes, my poor husband has four beautiful, healthy, happy girls. There are certainly worse things in the world. You may continue with your narrow minded thinking, but don't be surprised if the next time one of those comments is directed my way, you get a more direct response of "yep, how awful for him to have four healthy, happy, and beautiful children that happen to be girls."

I encourage you to think before you speak. Perhaps I should take some of that advice myself, but this is one that I'll probably just let the words come on their own. My family is something I don't take lightly, and preserving my children's respect of themselves is tops on the list. I'm proud of my girls and so is my husband. Don't try to undermine that.

PS --- Yes, we know what cause the amount of children we have. News flash: We like it and each other!