You Are The Joy Of Kindergarten

You bounded into my room before the alarm went off. You were fully dressed and ready to go. The sparkle in your eyes was joyful and the smile on your face was contagious. You my sweet girl were the epitome of the joy that only a Kindergartner can exude.

This wasn't the first day of school upon which I would expect this enthusiasm. It's been the first day and every day since. You love school and the independence it brings!

Each day you awake with excitement for what your day holds. You are up and ready to take on the day because the possibilities in your world are endless. Oh what we could learn from you! You don't see the challenges that each day presents, you see the possibility and things to learn from those obstacles. To you, they are a new opportunity to learn.

Kindergarten gives you the ability to show your skills. Each night I watch you pick out your clothes with care (often either long sleeves or pants because that's what you love to wear regardless of weather).  Each morning you come down dressed and ready to go with the eagerness of someone that's been given the freedom to completely be themselves.

You giggle through breakfast and look forward to what you're going to learn today. You can't wait to do math.  The idea of reading on your own excites you.

Each evening you come home excited to tell me about your day.  You tell me what you learned, what you ate, what you played.  You love it all.  The joy in you is palatable.

Part of me struggles with how big you've become in such a short period of time.  Part of me wants you to stay little forever. But most of me loves this. I love watching you grow. You've been waiting for a long time (in your mind) for Kindergarten.  I've known you'd love it and would do well. What I didn't know, is that I'd see the true joy of Kindergarten. The world has new possibilities through your eyes and I love that I'm getting to see it through those beautiful eyes.

I pray you never lose that excitement for life. I hope you forever love learning. I pray that even as you grow, you see the world with the joy of a Kindergartner.

I Love You Enough To Not

As parents, we naturally want more and better for our children then what we had regardless of how great or bad our childhood was.  We instinctively want to give them all the we didn't have and more.  Perhaps it's rooted in the things we feel we missed out on or the things we swore as parents we'd never do (or we would do). 

I'm no exception to that idea.  I want to give my girls the world and to experience things that I wasn't able to. I want them to have more than I did, but not just material things. We're a little better off than my parents were at this stage in the game, so it makes me that much more anxious to do things for them. But here's the thing, I love them enough to not.

Sounds crazy right?  How can you say you love your kids enough to not?  Well in my mind, it's fairly simple. I absolutely want you to have the world, but I don't want you to feel entitled to it. I think that that's where we as a society have went wrong.  We've become so focused on giving our kids more than we had and being more than what our parents were, that we've missed the mark and have created kids that think they should have everything they want, when they want it.

So my sweet, beautiful girls, I love you enough to not.

*I love you enough to not give you your way when you've thrown a fit because you want something. I love you enough to remove you from the situation and let you realize that there are better ways to get what we want than to scream, shout, and act a fool.

*I love you enough to not fight your battles for you. In life, there will always be obstacles, some big, some small.  As your mother, I do you a disservice if I can't help you find ways to problem solve and overcome without me.  Unfortunately, you won't win every battle and it'll hurt.  But as your mom, I promise to help you find the lesson in the loss. You'll have better character and life skills because you did it on your own.

*I love you enough to not let you think you can do no wrong.  Entitlement comes in many forms.  Inability to accept ones own responsibility and ownership in things is one of them.  I'll always be in your corner.  I'll always be there to support you.  I'll always be your biggest fan.  But I won't give you the false perception that you're always right.

*I love you enough to not give you everything you want.  It's not because we can't in a lot situations, but rather it's because we can't always get what we want.  I want you to know the value of things.  Sometimes, I feel like we've lost that in the mass quantities of things that you have.  I want you to know the value of not only the thing that you want, but the satisfaction of working hard to have it.  I don't think you're too young to start working for something that you really want. You'll value it more and have more pride in yourself for working hard for something than you ever would something we just hand to you.  So while we'll give you somethings, know that I love you enough to not give you everything.

*I love you enough to not bail you out of bad situations.  Similarly to not fighting your battles for you, I love you enough to not not give you the opportunity to figure out how to make a situation right. I'll guide you and be there for you if you need to work something out whether with a family member, teacher, or friend, but I'll let you lead. You need to know that life will throw you some tough situations in all walks of life and while I'll always be there to bounce ideas off of and assist you, I want you to have the confidence of being able to navigate tough seas on your own.

*I love you enough to not spend $36,000 on food alone at your wedding (or really anywhere in that ballpark). I pray for your future constantly, including for your future husband.  I know that you'll be an absolutely gorgeous bride.  I want your wedding to be everything you hoped for, but I won't spend an absurd amount of money. I love you enough to recognize that your future can benefit so much more if that money was directed to something long term.  Realistically, you won't remember the food from that day. I want your memories of that day to be special and joyful in the fact that you were united with the man you get to love for the rest of your life. Ten years down the road, you'll think that any large amount of money could have been spent on something much better for the two of you or the family that you may choose to start.

It's not all encompassing, and there are many other things that I love you enough to not let you or me do.  I only want the best for you my sweet girls.  Over the years, you'll be mad at me for all the things that I love you enough to not let you do, but I also hope that one day you'll appreciate it as well.  Just know, that it's because I love you more.