Bigger

I remember when I found out I was pregnant with each of you. I remember the first sonogram picture of each of you. I fell in love with that sweet little pea pod and my heart grew bigger. I fell in love with each of you faster than I ever knew possible.

I looked over the other day at you Maui, riding in the front seat. Your long legs curled up beside you as you read. And it struck me. Hard. You're bigger. I knew it was happening and I remember thinking to myself "I can't believe she's doing this! Look at how big she's gotten!" But there it was, your sweet round cheeks that I couldn't get enough of have thinned into the narrow face of a young lady. Your chubby little fingers are now long and capable of doing pretty much everything without my help. Your scribbles of art are now true art. You have your own thoughts and opinions as hard as it is for me to grasp. You've gotten bigger.  Time didn't wait.

I see you, the bright blue eyes that could light up the sky and the cheeks that wouldn't stop, my Bry. You've always had your own time for doing things and your own way. I remember being worried that you'd never talk, only point. Now you say things with absolute certainty and use words much bigger than you should for your age. You can entertain yourself without me having to worry. You love to imitate your big sister and it's made you bigger. I'm pretty sure that there aren't many two year olds sitting around successfully playing board games, but you sweet child do. You've gotten bigger and it happened over night.

I remember finding out you were not one but two. The shock wore off and you were here. Aspen and Afton picture perfect. You were so tiny and I remember thinking if we just make it through this week or this month it'll get easier. Now you are both walking, climbing, and are all out dancing machines. I'm not sure where that time went. My last babies. The ones I should have rocked a little longer and held a little tighter. You're not babies anymore, you're big girls. You're bigger and it makes me cry. Not in a bad way, but in the how does it happen so fast way.

Each milestone you hit, you get bigger. I'm proud, I'm excited, I'm happy. My heart grows bigger each time. You've each taught me to grow in ways I didn't know possible. You've made me bigger in so many ways (my hips being the least of these). Every time I think I can't possibly love you more, some how you make me fall more in love, my love gets bigger.

My heart will probably always ache a little the bigger you get. It's hard for me to let go. I'm selfish like that. But you my sweet children make me prouder and happier with each step. Just know that as you continue getting bigger, you'll forever be my little baby. I'll forever look at you and see that spikey black hair and round cheeks, those baby blues and chubby cheeks, the tiny armfuls of love that I wasn't sure how to handle. Bigger? Yes. But forever my babies no matter how big you get.

A Trip To Remember

We'd been planning it for almost a year. The four of us, five days of fun in the sun. The time had finally come! Four sisters heading south of the border for some fun and relaxation. A rendezvous in Atlanta and we were outbound.

Like all things, there are highs and lows. All things come at a cost to some extent, there are ramifications and things that are sacrificed; even for the good things in life. We all sacrificed money to go. We all sacrificed time at work. We all left someone behind to hold things together while we were gone. The time had come and we were going to make the best of it. Things didn't go as picture perfect as we'd have liked. Four girls that haven't been alone together for that long in years, differences are going to pop up. However, I've made a choice. I'm not going to let the hard parts define our time together. Instead, I'm going to focus on what made this a trip to remember.

*Making each other laugh until we cried
*A sunburnt butt
*Attempting to stand on a "concrete" ball
*Successfully standing on a moss covered bird perch in the middle of the ocean
*My first foam party
*Avocado covered floppy hats
*Hair that made Monica from Friends' hair look calm
*Flamingos that may or may not light up
*Swimming 7 miles to snorkel
*Japanese food with no "yum yum" sauce
*Awkward questions that can only be asked and answered with those you love the most
*A shopping trip that we only brought about $80 total with us because we plan well
*Walking 5 miles (Heidi's estimation) to where the river meets the ocean
*Crystal clear waters
*Beautiful sunsets
*Tone deaf drunk lady singing Friends in Low Places
*More food than any person should see at once (or eat for that matter)
*Bubba cups
*Trying to get the perfect picture jumping (it's hard to do)

The list could go on and on. I learned a few other things from that trip. I learned that there is nothing as fierce as the love we have for each other. We may not like each other or the choices the other makes, but no matter what, we've got each other. We're willing to fight, to be a voice, and like it or not we're laying it all out there to each other. Sometimes that hurts. Sometimes those bridges take time to mend. The important thing is that even mending bridges, we've got each others back. There's no stop in that.

It's something that I hope my girls see and mimic as they grow. Some day, they will be the new "fabulous and fearsome four" and they will kick ass (each other's and anyone that gets in the way).  They will love each other through thick and thin. They'll put each other in their place. Because that's what sisters do. They love. They fight. They get mad. They forgive. They have ups and downs. But always, always they love each other with an unending love.

Though not everything on our trip was picture perfect I chose to remember it as a time that can't be replaced. I chose to remember it as time with my sisters that was a blast. Memories that can't be replaced and love that is unending.  I don't know if or when we'll be able to have another sisters' trip, but this one will always be a trip to remember.