Bigger

I remember when I found out I was pregnant with each of you. I remember the first sonogram picture of each of you. I fell in love with that sweet little pea pod and my heart grew bigger. I fell in love with each of you faster than I ever knew possible.

I looked over the other day at you Maui, riding in the front seat. Your long legs curled up beside you as you read. And it struck me. Hard. You're bigger. I knew it was happening and I remember thinking to myself "I can't believe she's doing this! Look at how big she's gotten!" But there it was, your sweet round cheeks that I couldn't get enough of have thinned into the narrow face of a young lady. Your chubby little fingers are now long and capable of doing pretty much everything without my help. Your scribbles of art are now true art. You have your own thoughts and opinions as hard as it is for me to grasp. You've gotten bigger.  Time didn't wait.

I see you, the bright blue eyes that could light up the sky and the cheeks that wouldn't stop, my Bry. You've always had your own time for doing things and your own way. I remember being worried that you'd never talk, only point. Now you say things with absolute certainty and use words much bigger than you should for your age. You can entertain yourself without me having to worry. You love to imitate your big sister and it's made you bigger. I'm pretty sure that there aren't many two year olds sitting around successfully playing board games, but you sweet child do. You've gotten bigger and it happened over night.

I remember finding out you were not one but two. The shock wore off and you were here. Aspen and Afton picture perfect. You were so tiny and I remember thinking if we just make it through this week or this month it'll get easier. Now you are both walking, climbing, and are all out dancing machines. I'm not sure where that time went. My last babies. The ones I should have rocked a little longer and held a little tighter. You're not babies anymore, you're big girls. You're bigger and it makes me cry. Not in a bad way, but in the how does it happen so fast way.

Each milestone you hit, you get bigger. I'm proud, I'm excited, I'm happy. My heart grows bigger each time. You've each taught me to grow in ways I didn't know possible. You've made me bigger in so many ways (my hips being the least of these). Every time I think I can't possibly love you more, some how you make me fall more in love, my love gets bigger.

My heart will probably always ache a little the bigger you get. It's hard for me to let go. I'm selfish like that. But you my sweet children make me prouder and happier with each step. Just know that as you continue getting bigger, you'll forever be my little baby. I'll forever look at you and see that spikey black hair and round cheeks, those baby blues and chubby cheeks, the tiny armfuls of love that I wasn't sure how to handle. Bigger? Yes. But forever my babies no matter how big you get.