You Know What? I'm A Pretty Darn Good Mom

I've mentioned it before that I get that feeling like I'm somehow failing at this whole being a mom thing. I'm not a crafty mom and most things I attempt would make the Pinterest fail list in a heartbeat. I'm not a great chef, and my kids eat more chicken nuggets and pizza than I'm proud to admit. Heck some days I'm making more messes than the kids (remember What I Learned From A Puzzle In The Washing Machine?).  My house definitely has the lived in look.

So basically, I'm not Betty Crocker, I'm not Martha Stewart, and I'm not June Cleaver. I'm me, the mom that works a full time job, buys all costumes and party supplies, orders more meals out than she cooks (though I'm getting better on this fitness journey), sends her stained clothing to her grandma's for help, and whose house probably would be a pigsty without her husband.

But here's the bottom line, despite all of my shortcomings (and I know there are plenty), I'm a pretty darn good mom. Yep, I am. Here's why: my almost nine year old still thinks my kisses are magical and that they heal boo boos. All four of my girls' faces light up when I come home and they run to hug me. I let them make messes that I really don't want to clean up (hello PlayDoh and ice cream cones)! I know all the words to I Love You Through and Through, Pinkalicious, Llama Llama Red Pajama, and There Was An Old Lady Who Swallowed  A Fly by heart because at one point in time all four of my girls have loved those books. I make up a song about poop so my three year old will go to sleep (an odd request, but it makes her and her big sister giggle the sweet giggles that I love).

It's not an all inclusive list, but it reminds me that as I fix another broken bracelet or doll, wipe markers off my counters and cabinet, and remake beds and refold clothes that I just folded, I'm doing alright. I let them help make dinner (when I actually cook) and wash dishes, and it all comes with added messes. I do it because I love them and want them to be happy. I may lose my temper on occasion and yell when I shouldn't. I may get frustrated because I have a screaming kiddo clinging to my leg and I'm just trying to get dinner made.

I hope I'm teaching them to love through the messes and to forgive the mistakes. I hope through all that I'm not, I'm showing them all that I am. I'm pretty sure that being real and the best me, even on my not so great days, makes me a good mom.

At the end of the day, it's me they want to hug, to fix things, and to kiss boo boos. I know that it won't last forever because they're getting bigger. But it also tells me, that despite the fact that I'm not perfect, I'm a pretty darn good mama. And I'll take that everyday of the week.

For My Mama Friends

Here's to you mama. Here's to the hours that nobody sees. The hours of doing it all. Nope, you're not a single mom, but most of the time you feel like it. And it's hard. Damn hard. Not everyone gets it, but some of us do even though we're not in your shoes.

Your the glue behind the scenes. You're the one that gets called when somethings not going right. You drop everything and try to fix it. Whether that's running after a part, taking someone to the next vehicle, or picking up a sick kid from school, you've got it. You're there.

You spend hours making meals, doing laundry, washing dishes, and cleaning. You make sure everyone else is taken care of before you even think about taking care of yourself. Some weeks you're not sure when your last real meal was or when you washed your hair. There's housework, yard work, school, after school, pick ups, drop offs, groceries, the list really never ends. Yet you do it, day in and day out without missing a beat.

You fix boo-boos, sew on buttons, run food to more than just your husband. You dry tears when the kids are sad. You answer the questions that if you had it your way, you wouldn't field; they'd be his. You go to sleep often by yourself only to get up and do it all again the next day.

You don't complain even though it quite frankly sucks. You hold it together when the wheels are falling off and do it with amazing grace. You show love and grace without asking anything in return. You support a crazy life and his wild ideas and make it look easy.

You have your own interests and desires. You often push those aside to be the rock that you are for everyone else. Sometimes you forget who you are. You forget how special you are. I'm here to remind you: You my sweet friend are AMAZING! You are so much stronger than you know. Your faith and love are second to none. I admire the heart and soul that you pour into your life even when you feel like you're failing and not doing it right. You show grace and compassion, dignity and strength. You make me proud of you and proud to be your friend.

Don't ever forget who you are. Yes, you are the farm wife, the lineman's wife, the coach's wife, the army wife, but you are more than just that. You're the glue. You are you, and you're pretty damn amazing. Don't lose you. I see you. I get you. You are loved.

Reaping What We Sow

I read a devotional every morning when I get up. Some hit home a little more than others. I had one the other day that really stuck with me and made me wonder what I'm sowing.  This particular devotion was directed mostly toward what we reap in regards to our children, but it made me ponder beyond that.

As parents we constantly wonder if what we are doing is the right thing. We constantly struggle with how what we are doing will shape our children. Will we scar them for life with the one mistake we made? Are we too hard or too easy on them. The questions and the self doubt are constant.

When we are in school we're pushed toward continuing our education so that we can get a better job and have more than the generation before us. So we work through school. Sometimes that work pays off and sometimes it doesn't.

In life we encounter people from all walks of life. How we treat those people shapes not only who we are, but who they are. That's something that we often don't think about. The simple cause and effect of our life.

See I'm really good at pouring myself into my children. I try to give them my best. I don't always succeed. I want them to have happy memories of their childhood. I want them to remember mommy doing fun things with them. I of course want them to have more than I had. Most importantly though, I want them to know that they are loved. I want them to never ever doubt that. I want them to know my love and God's love.

As a child, my family wasn't rich. I never went without, or if I did, I didn't know it. My dad worked hard for us to have what we had. My mom was able to stay home and care for us. Both shaped me into who I am today. I remember the fun non-monetary things like picnics mom used to take us on. I remember dad working at night, but making sure he got us up every morning for school to make us breakfast. I knew love. I may have doubted lots of things as a child, but I never had to doubt that. I reaped what they sowed.

I work. I work hard. I'm fortunate enough to be in a job that puts me in a supervisory position. I am in a position to work with people from all walks of life. This position allows me the greatest opportunity to reach others. This is the area that I probably struggle with the most in reaping what I sow. I'm not sure that I'm doing what I'm supposed to to be a light for others, but I'm trying.

I've taken on a new venture in my health. As I've gotten older, my body is showing me that I reap what I sow. I've decided to sow to be a better me. Better for me, better for my family and hopefully help out some others on the way. And when I'm a better me, I'm better at all the other roles that I play.

Today I visited with my grandparents. Today I really watched my kids interact with my mom. I watched them interact with my grandma and my dad. And do you know what I saw? I saw memories. I saw love. I saw adults reaping years of sowing. It hasn't always been easy for them. There were times when they could haven thrown in the towel for a thousand different reasons but they didn't. And because they chose not to. Because they continued to pour themselves into me, my parents, my kids, I see it in their eyes. I see the love and happiness that can only come when you've truly reaped what you sow. I see it in the eyes of my kids and it fills my heart with joy.

I'm a work in progress. I want to sow better seeds in all walks of my life so that what I reap is that much sweeter. I'm forever thankful for a family that gives me grace to continue to try to get it together. More importantly, I'm forever grateful for God's unfaltering love that let's me truly see the gifts I've been given. Be patient with me, I'm trying to get better. I'm trying to be better in all that I do for you and for me because I know that I reap what I sow.

Galatians 6:7

Working Through A Broken Heart

I haven't slept well since I got the call. The heaviness in my chest is more constant than not. The lump in my throat comes more quickly than it goes. The tears spring almost anytime there's a lull in my day and my thoughts drift to you.

To some it may seem silly. It's been around two years since you were actively a part of this family. Heck it'd been close to a year since we'd talked last. Yet, I find myself saddened in a way I can't explain. The more I think about it, the harder it is. Perhaps it's because in my heart I always knew, hoped, and believed that you'd be back. This is where you belonged, you were my family.

I watched you for years. I watched you grow, struggle, fail, succeed, wonder, and hope. I saw you make mistakes, I saw you learn.  I saw you find a new path that had so much possibility for you. You were there at all of our family functions and you were just one of us. When you stopped being there, in my mind, I thought one day you'd be back. Now I sit here with tears in my eyes because what I was so sure of is not to be. You're gone.

I cry. I cry for you, for the life you didn't get to have. I cry for me because losing you makes my heart sad. I cry for your family as I can't imagine the pain that they have. I cry for your friends because they too have a hole, a void that can't be filled. I cry for my family because your passing has crushed us too.  I cry because there are questions I have that I'll never know the answer to. I wonder where you landed on conversations we had, particularly on your salvation. Not knowing makes me cry, so I hope; I hope you made that decision.

When something was wrong, you called us. If you needed us you knew you could count on us, and us you. My doors will forever be the "doors that Kris hung" because that's the kind of guy that you were, willing to help. That's part of what made us family. Us not being blood, not having constant contact, not even the fact that we hadn't seen you in a while because of other reasons could change that. You were a part of us, and we were a part of you. You were our family, and us yours, you belonged.

That's what makes this so hard, because you were loved regardless of time, distance, or mistakes. That's what family is, people that love you; and you were loved by us. I hope that you knew that. So I sit here and cry, because I know that part of my family is gone. And it hurts.

I'll always remember the love, laughter, and memories you brought to our lives.You'll forever be our Krisy Kris. You'll forever be loved, and you'll forever be missed. My life was better having known you.

We love you Kris, you'll forever be in our hearts.

I'm Not Voting For A Letter

As you know, I'm an elected official. I hold my job by people voting for me. I happen to run with the letter "R" behind my name. That letter doesn't define me. Nor should it. Just as the letters "D" and "I" shouldn't define a person on any other ticket.

Throughout our great nation, we have many important elections coming up. Each candidate runs with a letter behind their name. That's where the trouble begins. We become so blinded by that letter that we forget that we're supposed to be looking for someone that represents us. Just as much as they forget that they are to represent us (remember, Enough is Enough). The letters divide us.

Though I run on the ballot with a "R" behind my name, it simply represents the party that most closely represents the values that I hold. I'm not a straight ticket voter. Nor are a lot of the people that elect me to do the job I do. I have to have support from both sides. I vote for the person that represents me and what I believe in. I look for a candidate that works toward good government, not party politics. Anymore that's just flat out hard to find.

Unfortunately, we've all become pawns in this game. We're led to believe that in order to be a good contributor to a political party that we must prescribe to the sheep mentality and follow party lines. We have to drink the kool-aid if you will and go lock step with the leaders of whichever party we claim to be. We as Americans have done a pretty good job of that. We've failed to hold our leaders accountable, we've followed party lines because that's what we're supposed to do.

Rise up America. Stop voting for a letter. Vote for a person. Take off your blinders. Stand up for what you believe in, even if it's the little guy that the world says doesn't have a chance. I mean who doesn't love an underdog? The bottom line is you should vote for who you think will do what's right. Find the one that you believe will represent your beliefs the best (let's face it, your not going to find one that represents and believes all of the things that you do). Then get out and vote for those values and beliefs.

The only vote wasted is the vote not taken.

I haven't and I won't vote for a letter. I'll vote for a person. Period. I encourage you to do the same.

This message brought to you by the letter R. (Remember they're supposed to REPRESENT us)!

Why I'm Not Trying To Fool You With My Facebook Status

It seems to be more prevalent these days that I see stories about "why your Facebook status doesn't fool me."  The author goes on to explain why they think people with the #blessed status are phony. Let's be honest, we all have thought that or know someone who's life isn't as great as they make it seem on social media. But here's the deal, life's about what you make of it.

Scroll through my page and you'll see lots of #blessed. Mixed in you'll see the real life fits and messes too, but not near as often. I'm not trying to fool anyone with what I choose to post.  Let's face it, my life is as big of a mess as the next person's (check out It's A Sweet, Sweet Mess where I recount some of our ups and downs, the mess I made with Doughnut and A Puzzle, my own secrets in She Gave Me Courage, or someone saying something that irritates me Watch What You Say).  Nope, not trying to fool you, just choosing to make the best of what I've got.

The way I see it is that you can choose to let the happy parts of your life shine through or let the negative overtake you. I'm real. Lots of times before or after those sweet pictures of my kiddos, there's been some sort of catastrophe, whether it be a fight, a mess, whining, or a million other things, it happens. But I choose to not let those things be my memories. I choose to let the smiles, the love, the happiness be what I live.

Don't get me wrong, there's times that I struggle to find highlights in my day. I'm human. I'm not trying to fool you by saying I'm blessed, but I believe that I am. I believe that my salvation blessed me with the greatest gift ever. I'm blessed to have a loving and supportive husband. I'm blessed because I have four beautiful healthy girls. I have an extended family that supports us and blesses us more than we deserve. I'm blessed with a job that I love and a home. Nope, I'm not rich. I'm not famous. I'm not stick thin because hey, It's Not What It Used To Be.  None the less, I'm pretty darn blessed.

I won't be apologizing to those of you on your high horses judging my level of blessing or what you perceive my life to be. I'm not trying to fool you with what my Facebook status says, but here's the thing, I don't post for you, it's for me.  I'm just trying to make the best of this life I've been blessed with and whether you see it or not, I'm #blessed.

It Takes Work

A while back I read an article by a woman that had been married a little less than a year. In this article, she stated that she didn't believe that marriage was hard work because it's not hard work waking up to the person that she loves. I'll give her that. That part of it is easy.  However, I think she's wrong; marriage is hard work.

I don't say that in the "I hate school because it's hard work" kind of way. I say that in the way that like most things that you work hard at, you appreciate it, it's important to you, and it's valuable because you do work hard at it. Even athletes with natural, God-given talent work hard. That's what makes them succeed.  The same holds true for marriage.

Now I don't proclaim to be a marriage expert. In fact, I'm far from it. My marriage has had it's share of ups and downs. But what I've learned in my eleven years of marriage is that if I want this marriage to work, I have to work at it.  When we were first married, I don't think either of us realized how true this was, but we quickly learned. In fact, I'm willing to say I was foolish in my expectations.

When we went from it being "my" money to it being "our" money, it took work. We worked to figure out what we wanted to do with it, what was important to us. We learned we had to communicate with each other. We worked at it and honestly we still work at it. There are times that I think something is more important than he does and vice-versa.

We've learned through hard times, we've learned through good times. In order to learn, we had to work through things. We've worked through hurt and mistrust. We've worked through new jobs, promotions that we were passed over for, going back to school. We've worked through opposite shifts. That one was really hard for us. We're a couple that distance causes us to fight. So the more we're apart, the easier it is for us to nit pick each other when we're together. It takes hard work for us to refocus on what's important.

We choose to love each other through the good and the bad. We've went through many seasons with each other. We went from being just the two of us to parents of four. We're working through this learning to parent thing together.  We've worked to make time for each other, and at times it's hard.

We've worked through  the loss of  loved ones together. Through disappointments, through new friends and losing friends. Through new churches, new dreams, new hopes. We've been through times of uncertainty, awaiting test results. We've seen our family hurt and those we care about hurt.

Yes, being with the one that I love and waking up next to him isn't hard work, it's one of this life's greatest blessings and I thank God for my husband every day.  As two separate people, learning to be together as one is hard because you are just that, two individuals. We choose to work hard at our marriage, some days it comes easy and doesn't seem like work, some days it's really hard.  These hard lessons, the ones that make us work a little harder, make us appreciate each other more.

Just like that Olympic athlete, we've worked hard to get where we are. We cherish the success of our marriage like a gold medalist does his/her success. In order to do something right, you have to work at it. In order to succeed, we tell our kids you have to work hard. I believe the same is true in marriage. If you treasure it, you work hard at it.


For where your treasure is, there will your heart be also" Matthew 6:21