Godsgiving (11/22/19)

The twins have been asking if it's Godsgiving for so long, it became catchy. The more I thought about it, it couldn't be more fitting.

Really Thanksgiving is about us being thankful. Thankful for those we love, the homes we have, the jobs, the clothes, friends, food, the list goes on and on.

So what better thing to be thankful for than God and all of the giving he's done for us? This year and probably all of those going forward, around here, we'll be celebrating Godsgiving.

Week Nights (11/20/19)

Week nights are hard. Week nights are chaotic. After work, the running starts: practices, meetings, dinner, baths, books, prayers...the lists goes on and on.

I stood here looking at my kitchen as I got one kid in the shower so one could be out of the way before we have to go pick up another from practice. Let's be honest, it's a train wreck. Craft projects on the counter, dinner on the stove, dishes in the sink, trash to go out. #mess

Despite the mess that's still yet to be cleaned up, it's a winning, better than a lot of nights, night. Why? Dinner was more homemade than frozen. Little minds created crafts from their own imagination. Fighting was almost nonexistent #momwin and despite the chaos, I don't feel stressed.

I take the little victories and while they may not be of any magnitude to most, it's a blessing to me. The little victories feel like huge successes more times than not...I just have to take the time to appreciate the beauty in the mess ❤

We Dress Up for Halloween (11/2/19)

 I’m a Christian and I let my kids celebrate Halloween. Say what?! Yep, they celebrate Halloween AND I let them believe in Santa Claus, the Tooth Fairy, and the Easter Bunny. Holy blasphemy and brimstone and fire! I’m thinking that some front (and even some in the back) row Baptists just fell out of their pews (relax, I’m Baptist too).

How on this earth can I proclaim to be a Christian yet allow my children to participate in the unholy pagan holiday of Halloween? How could I lead them so willingly down a wayward path? My answer to you would be this: I’m NOT. Plain and simple, I’m letting them be kids. Nobody bats an eye when a kid plays dress up any other day of the year. In fact, we encourage it---it creates imagination. Yet we make a BIG ol’ deal of it one day a year. Oh I can hear the critics now, “yes but you parade about on that particular day that pays homage to pagan beliefs.” Listen, on any given day, I’d let my kids walk out of our house in dress up clothes as long as they are dressed in something. That’s on about any five of seven days I’d let that craziness fly in my house. If they dress themselves, I generally don’t care what it is as long as it’s weather appropriate.

I also allow my kids to believe in the other make believe characters that this world has dreamed up. About eight years ago, I was dumb enough to even jump on the crazy train of the whole Elf on the Shelf nonsense (side note, I’m looking for great suggestions on how to phase that choice out of our lives). In all honesty, what harm comes from my kids believing in make believe for a very short window of their lives? I don’t see what all the fuss is about. I also don’t think it’s wrong for churches to participate in things like Trunk or Treat.

Oh holy rollers, she’s done it now! Yep, that’s generally how I roll, straight on through. I think it’s GREAT that churches do this. Not only is it a safe place for kids to go and not get into trouble, it elevates a platform to spread the word. Holy cannoli what a great idea!

Here’s the bottom line in my world. My kids get to participate because to them it’s an innocent day of fun. If you were to ask them why we have Halloween, they’d likely tell you something along the lines of “so we can dress up and get candy.” They have no idea of the origins of it all. There’s a reason for that; it’s because we don’t tell them. See, our beliefs are in Christ, not ghosts so that’s what we share with our children. We teach them about what’s important to us.

Do other holidays have artificial figures that we all hubbub about? Yep. Lots of non-Christians celebrate Christmas. Lots of families have Easter dinners that don’t believe in Christ’s resurrection. Do we crucify them for celebrating something that they don’t believe in? As a general rule, no.

Around here we let the kids believe in the magic of Santa Claus and they annually have a picture with him. We hide teeth under pillows in hopes of a couple of bucks showing up in place of a tooth. Eggs pop up around our yard and house at Easter time with the eagerness of seeing what the bunny left. Halloween will continue to be the annual big dress up day around here. We’ll continue to do these things not because we idolize the figure that each represents, rather we let the kids celebrate the innocent fun that each season presents.

I feel confident that our children aren’t being led astray simply because they participate in a dedicated day. What I do feel confident in is that we are raising them to be creative and imaginative. I feel confident that at Christmas and Easter, our kids will know that we celebrate these not because of the fictional characters that appear at each, but because they coincide with the birth and resurrection of Jesus Christ.

So I’ll say it a little louder for those in the back, this Christian mama is going to continue to let her kids celebrate the no-no holidays. And I’m not going to feel even a little bit bad for doing so.

Lessons From the Field (10/27/19)

 When you've given your all, left your heart out on the field, and walk away empty handed. Not victorious. Not fighting to contain your excitement until after you've shaken the other team's hands. Rather fighting back tears until you make it to the car.

It's the release of disappointment, feeling like you've let everyone down. It's a weight you've placed on your shoulders and on days like today, it becomes too heavy.

But there's so much to be learned from from days like today when disappointment stings your heart and eyes. There's so much to build on for the rest of your life. Days like today stink. They hurt, but they hold valuable lessons.

Days like today remind you that you can't always win. You have to be resilient. You have to learn from the losses to be better next time. In life, you'll fight hard for many things. Many of those things, you won't walk away with the outcome that you hoped for, but you learn. You learn what to do better. You learn how to adjust. You improve on what you're already good at. You pick yourself up and you keep moving forward with more determination.

Days like today remind you that you can't carry a weight alone. Today you felt like you let people down. Just like a pitcher carries a win or loss on his record, you felt that burden. But just like the pitcher, it's actually a reflection of the team, not one player. Lots of burdens in life are a reflection of many, not just one, don't carry the burden alone.

Always play your heart out. Always hold yourself to the high standard you've set and fight for it as if you're the only one out there. Ultimately though, walk away proud of how you played, leaving it all on the field. Take away the lessons and come back armed with them for the next go around.

And always walk away knowing that in your corner is a mama and daddy that couldn't be prouder of you, win or lose.

Siblings (10/25/19)

 These people. This bond. This love.

There are days I don't like them. There are days, they feel the same way towards me.

There are times I don't like their choices and they mine.

There are times when they absolutely hate what I have to say, because I can be too blunt.

But these people, are the people that I cheer for. They're the ones that even when we don't agree with what the other is doing, we support one another the best we can.

These people I'm bonded to beyond just being siblings. They're a piece of my soul. The part of my soul that needs to hug and see you in person to make sure you're ok.

They're the ones that drop everything to drive cross country if needed.

They're the ones that when the wheels start coming off and your world feels like it's crumbling, they're there picking up the pieces and holding you together.

When one hurts, we all hurt. We love and we love hard.

For some it's a love that's hard to understand. It's hard to understand because it's big and it's strong and it's real. The kind of real love that can knock you down, but pick you up all at the same time.

It's the kind of love and bond I hope and pray for for my girls.

These people are my people. Forever bonded, forever loved.

Birthday Cry (10/18/19)

I cried on my birthday. The hard core ugly cry. Now before you feel sorry for me and apologize for my bad day, hear me out.

Ninety-eight percent of the time, I consider myself a strong person. I can tackle most obstacles and not be weighed down by the significance or non significance of each. Then there are days when my breaking point is the 5 year old that lays on the floor and cries because we're out of ice cream. That triggered the small break of tears.

Later when I was laying out the day to my husband, the weight of all the things that I have absolutely no control won. I took the 7 minutes of alone time and cried HARD, SNOTTY, WET, UGLY tears. The kind of tears that I rarely in my life experience.

Today the weight of the things out of my control was heavy. People I love are fighting poor health, the consequences of poor decisions, and other issues. I can't control these. I don't know how to make them better. And I wasn't equipped today to emotionally deal with the unimportant tragedy of an empty ice cream container. So I cried.

Tonight regardless of how aware I try to be about not truly being in control, I felt overwhelmed and helpless. Here's the thing, it's ok to cry. It's ok to not always be strong. It's ok to every once in a while to cry it out. You can't always be strong or you'll break. Even concrete develops cracks from the weight it carries. Every now and then, it's ok to crack.

Today is my birthday. I wouldn't call it my best by far. I cried on my birthday, but it was a cleansing reminder that sometimes you gotta give yourself a chance to breathe and let it go.

Parent Teacher Conferences (10/9/12)

 Anyone else get Parent/Teacher conference anxiety?🙋‍♀️ I mean I mostly know what to expect and that my kids are mostly alright, but there's still a tiny part of me that fears something coming out of left field.

I guess it's human nature to have doubt in the back of your mind. Ultimately though what does that doubt do? It creates fear. If there's one thing that I've learned well over the last couple of years it's that fear is a liar!

So this year I went in with the expectation of hope. This year, I owned it with confidence. I went in and heard exactly what I expected and confirmed that there's absolutely no room for fear in my life and no room for doubt about what I already know to be true...fear is a liar!