What Does a Mom of Multiples (or any mom) Need?

When you find out your pregnant, the offers for help roll in; and then the babies come. The first month people are in and out with food (which don't get me wrong is MUCH appreciated). Visitors slack off and then it's you, your husband, your dog, and four kids trying to figure out how to survive. And let's be honest, survive is really all that you're doing. Your mantra becomes "just get through today." Why? Because it's hard, really freaking hard! See not only are you trying to figure out how to deal with TWO babies that want to nurse, want snuggled, and want your attention, but you also have two older children wanting to play, to color, to snuggle, and to feel important. You? What do you want? You want ALL of those things, but really you want SLEEP! Sleep, a shower, and ten minutes to yourself. You want each one of your children to curl up in your lap so that they know that they are your world and nothing is more important than them. So you try, then a baby cries, something spills, homework has to be done...reality hits.

So what does a mom of multiples or any mom need? We need to know we're not forgotten. After the first couple months, everyone assumes you're good. Guess what? Nope, I need you! I need friendship, I need to know that just because I'm playing this mommy role that someone still cares enough about me and our relationship to check in. I need friendships that text and ask what I'm doing and when I say nothing, they show up and say "go sleep, I've got this" or "grab your hubby and leave." Wanna guess how often that happens for someone with four kids? You guessed right, approximately never.

What this has shown me is how crappy of a friend I've been in the past. See I had the same thoughts, eh they've got this figured out by now. My friends, I'm sorry. I should have checked in just to let you know I was thinking about you. I should have showed up and made you sleep, or leave or shower so you feel human again. And in the future, I'll do better. I'll do better because I get it now. It took having twins to get it, but I get it.

I've now survived the first year of having multiples, and I find that I'm still longing for and missing the same things. Is it a little easier? Yes, but now the hard is different. It's different because for me to go somewhere that involves loading and unloading four kids in four car seats. It's different because now we need to stick to our schedules so what little bit of sanity remains is still there after bedtime. I want to come to your parties, I want to go to a movie (with you or my husband), but if it's after six o'clock, it's probably not going to happen.

God helps us to weather our storms. I know that this season of life will pass more quickly than I'd like. The days are oh so long (and lots of them are freaking hard), but the years really are short. Don't forget that mama that you used to spend time with. Being her friend may pose a few more obstacles now than before, but she needs you now more than ever.