In life we learn to pick our battles. We learn what's worth fighting for and what's worth letting go. Some things are harder to let go of than others.
I often remind Maui when she starts missing Grandpa, that when something is so hard to let go of, you know it was special. It doesn't always make letting go easier to deal with, but it shows you the value you placed on it. Some things are gone for good (or at least until we get to heaven), some are gone temporarily. When something returns it's up to us to determine how hard we're willing to fight for it. Some things are worth fighting for, some are not.
I'm amazed at how young the will to fight for something you value comes to the surface. Each of my kids have a way of telling (or showing) me what they want or don't want, even the twins who don't say much, get their point across and I know what's important to them because of it. I'm equally impressed by the protective nature that each of them show when it comes to each other. Brylynn can't stand the thought of anything hurting Maui. When Rob or Seth wrestle with her, Brylynn is the first to try to stop it. To her, her sister is worth fighting for. That's something that I hope each of my girls value forever, each other.
I read an article the other day on the women rescued from Boko Haram. These women fought to stay alive in captivity. They fought to get out when people came to help them escape. Now they are being held in tent villages and unable to return to the lives they had before because they are tarnished. These women are fighting to overcome terror that I hope and pray I never know. They are fighting to save themselves, but there are very few willing to help them because of fear. These women are worth fighting for.
The women and children that are victims of trafficking, they are worth fighting for. There's a sign that hangs on the window of my office that says "our children are not for sale." No they're not. They should never be. No person should ever be forced into a situation against their will. Taking a stand for those affected by this is worth the fight.
I strive to instill in my children respect, honesty, and the value in standing up for yourself and others. Choosing to do that isn't always easy. It's often easier to try to fit in and not cause waves. I tell Maui to imagine herself in the other person's shoes and think of how she would feel if it were her.
I want my children to be respectful. I want them to be respected. I want them to know their value and that all lives are important and have value. It's not a matter of race. It's not a matter of wealth. It's not a matter of gender. It's a matter of God-given life. So if you've given respect, but you're being treated like crap, I darn well expect you to stand up for yourself. If you see someone that doesn't know their worth, help them find it. If you see someone being hurt by words, physically, or any other way, fight for them. Help them fight the fight. Let them know they aren't alone. I'd rather you get sent home for standing up for yourself or someone than you know in your mind and heart that you let someone do irreparable damage. Some things are worth fighting for. And my mama heart will be full of pride if you fight for these things.
This is a blog for my children as they grow. These are things that I want them to read and look back on and know that they valued the right things. Value isn't in what we own or how much money we have. It isn't in the car we drive or the job we have. I can almost guarantee that when I die, people aren't going to say "she was one hell of a Clerk and drove a damn nice mini van!" (If that's what you're hearing I've failed epically in the mark I hoped to leave in this world. Not to mention who really says that about mini vans?) I find my work important and I hope that people think I do a good job, but that's not what I want to be remembered for.
So my children, below is a list of things (not all inclusive) that I hope you fight for with everything you have until your very last breath:
*Your faith-it is something that you should never sacrifice. It should be the foundation of who you are, which leads me to the next point.
*Yourself-always, always know you are worth fighting for. The person that God made you is beautiful inside and out. Never let someone or something make you devalue yourself. I hope that your father and I have taught you that your life matters, you matter, and God designed you with an amazing purpose in mind.
*Family-as you grow, you will find that no matter how mad your sisters or your parents make you, there is an unbreakable bond of love. That love is worth fighting for. Knowing that you took a stand for your sister(s) whether it be over a boy, a friend, or any other issue that may occur in this life, will give you (and your mama) more satisfaction than you can imagine. Mainly because that's your girl and you know nothing is going to hurt her, you'd fight for her no matter what. Know that each of you have each other's back. Be there. Fight for each other, there's a bond you've been given that can't be replaced and you're so blessed to have it.
*Freedom-I'm not the mama that wants you to sign up in the armed forces (because I selfishly would rather know you're safe here), but if you choose to, I will support you and be embarrassingly proud of you (fear not, I'll be embarrassingly proud of you regardless of your occupation). Our freedom is something that we often take for granted and forget that many in this world aren't even given half of the freedom we have. Fight for it. Support those that do. Fight for your right to vote and use that right. You have freedom of speech and religion. Don't let the politicians of this world lead you astray, fight for these freedoms always.
*Love-yep as cheesy as that sounds fight for it. It's not always easy, and sometimes it's downright hard. But when you find the one that will cover up your shoulder every night (even when he thinks you're ridiculous), fight for it. Fight for the one that values you and loves you not for what you can give him, but for everything that you stand for. Love isn't just a feeling, it's something that's built. When you find the one that you want to continue to build that love with fight for it.
*The underdog-the one without a voice, the one that needs protected, the one that needs help. I hope your heart has the compassion and kindness to fight for them when they can't. Do what you can to leave your mark on this world in a positive way. Helping those that can't help themselves is a fight you can take pride in.
*Your friends-not all friends are friends worth fighting for. Some relationships run their course and that's ok. If you find a friend that you connect with no matter how far apart you are and no matter how frequently you see each other or talk, fight to keep in touch. These friendships are important to keep you grounded and help remind you who you really are.
You'll find more things in this life worth fighting for and I hope you throw your passion into that fight if you think it's worth it. Never forget who you are. Fight for you, fight for God, fight for your family. These things are the foundation of who you are and you my sweet child are something worth fighting for.
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