Cookie Cutter Kids

I remember back in my no child and single child days and my thoughts of "if I ever have a child they'll never act like that" or better yet, "my child will never do...."  Ahh, the blissful ignorance of no children or having a single well behaved child (or as I like to call them, trick children...you know the ones that make you think you've got this parenting thing down).

Now I have four. Four children that do not all act the same. Four children who on any given day can all be in sync or all out of sync. Four that may have it all together or be a hot freaking mess with no in between. I laugh at how silly I was with those thoughts from the early years!  Having four children, makes you more aware of the judgment that people have. It goes beyond the "you've got your hands full" comments. It's the looks of judgment when one (or more) act up. Guess what pal? I'm not raising cookie cutter kids, and I don't need your approval.

I'll be the first to admit that my kids are far from perfect, though in many ways I think they can be pretty close. They have their days where they can "please" and "thank you" and be the best behaved things you've ever seen. Those days are glorious for me as a mom. Realistically though, those days aren't every day, heck sometimes they are few and far between. Not because they haven't been taught those things. Not because we as their parents don't expect those things, but because they're kids and I'm raising Wildflowers.

So on the days when they are great, I'm grateful. Other days, you may see me sitting outside a dance class because one doesn't want to go back without me. So she sits with me as her sisters go. Then on the way home, she cries the entire time because she missed class. There are days when the back talk is real and friends don't get to come over and play.  There are days that they chant through the supermarket because they want some junk food that I wouldn't get. Then there are days that I give in because frankly I'm worn out and it's just easier.  Not always my proudest mom moments, but survival happens. It's these days that I pick up on the looks and comments more. As if you see something that I don't already see and know. Yep, my kid is acting up. Yep, that's not the socially acceptable norm. Yep, good for you and your judgment. Seriously, buddy I'm not an idiot. But you know what, you don't live my life. You have no idea how their day or my day has been, so you could probably chose to be a lifter and speak life instead of the jerk that you're being. The looks and comments aren't helpful in case you didn't know. And news flash, they're human, they have bad days, I have bad days; they aren't cookie cutters that we plopped out of box and all behave exactly as designed.

I see it in a way that you don't. In a way, I feel bad for you and that you don't have the pleasure of trying to manage four unique and beautiful personalities. I see the bond and the accountability that comes from missing out on something because someone couldn't tow the line of expectation so everyone missed out. I hate that you can't see the beauty of us letting them learn for themselves and learn from their mistakes. It's our job to mold these souls into people that can succeed on their own, love with their whole being, fight for what they believe in, be proud while being humble, can pick themselves up when they fall, and work hard for it all. Sometimes in order to get there, they learn the hard lessons, they cry in public, they throw a fit and miss out, they get a reward that you may deem unjust, but see, it's not up to you, it's up to me. So keep your looks of judgment and your underhanded comments that you think I'm too stupid to pickup on to yourself; these girls are doing just fine and they'll succeed with or without your approval.